You Know You're Arab If...

You go to Arabic restaurants, tell the owners you're Arab, and think you're
going to get free food.

You have to constantly remind your American friends to take off their shoes when they enter your house.

You flip out when someone mistakes you for a Mexican or Indian.

You say "bolice" instead of "police".

You inherited or will inherit land in your country.

You brag about your kids even if they are bad.

Your spouse is also your first cousin.

You're fat and blame it on the kids, or you're bald and blame it on the stress.

Your aunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding.

You smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and you only smoke Marlboro.

You think its cool to dance and smoke at the same time.

You wear more cologne than deodorant.

You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

You pronounce "comfortable" cun-fort-a-bull.

You say the letter "h" like "etch."

You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is.

You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family.

You cook a meal that lasts 3 days.

You pity anyone who is not an Arab and think all other cultures are morally corrupt.

You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live off them.

You don't use the word "tease" in English cause you feel weird.

Your father swears at you with words that effect himself (Ibn-Kalb).

You have 500,000,000 cousins.

Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests.

You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it.

You have a gold necklace of your name written in Arabic.

Your middle name is your father's first name.

If you are male, you're named after your grandfather or great-grandfather.

You play cards till the break of dawn.

You can't have a meal without bread.

You never run out of bizzer.

You get offended when Americans call Arabic bread "Pita bread"

If you are an Arab woman, you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.

You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in them.

You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad ones) and get happy when they use them in normal conversations.

Your Mom has a creative nickname for you like "Natoosheh," or "Tuntooneh."

You have a difficult Arabic name so you come up with an Americanized version of it like "Sam" or "Mike."

You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup.

You love Um Kalthoom and if you don't, your dad makes you listen to her and tries to translate the words into English so you can appreciate her as much as he does.

Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood.
If you're a single Arab guy, you tell women you're a "successful businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home" even if you're an unemployed goat herder.

You get real happy and call the whole family to the room when there is a special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arabic related on CNN or PBS.

Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if you're in the next room.

You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal.

You are standing next to the largest suitcases at the Airport.

You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

You say bye 17 times on the phone.

Your parents still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.

Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".

You've had a shoe thrown at you by your mother.

When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover they know one of your uncles back home.

Your mother does everything for you if you are male.

You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.

You refer to your dad's friends as Amoo.

You still came back home to live with your parents after you graduate.

You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and pumpkin seeds.

Your parents say you're becoming westernized anytime you get into trouble.

You curse at your teachers or strangers in Arabic.

You have at least thirty cousins.

Your parents want you to become a doctor or engineer.

You use your forehead and eyebrows to point something out.

Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day.

You can spot an Arab a mile away and they have spotted you because they keep staring.

After a family meal, the women fight to the death over who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their behinds and discuss politics, waiting for their tea.

Comment by Osama Bin Laden from Australia on 2018-06-10 03:44:13
So true, proud to be Arab :)
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Comment by Yasmina from United States on 2016-01-16 10:33:40
Ohhhhh yes this is absolutely true :)Proud to be Arab
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Comment by Yasmina from United States on 2016-01-16 10:26:16
Ohhhhh yest this absolutely tru :) Proud to be Arab
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Comment by Shahad from Australia on 2016-01-06 01:25:28
As much as I'd love to cuss my teacher out in arabic I know he will get suspicious and make me interpret what I said in English
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Comment by Shahad from Australia on 2016-01-06 01:15:34
OMG this is sooooo true I love my culture and proud being arab lol I love making fun of my culture
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Comment by Hilal from Australia on 2016-01-03 03:56:29
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Comment by Khaled New York from United States on 2015-11-18 13:11:59
LMAO 100% percent true but "a shoe thrown at you by your mother" my case it was my Dad
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Comment by Mohammed from United States on 2015-11-04 20:30:56
It is so true and funny please add my relitive is so rich or in high position Also you wear flip-flop I. The winter
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Comment by asal from United States on 2015-10-26 18:49:09
omggg so true lol
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Comment by Lina from United Kingdom on 2015-05-14 11:57:25
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Comment by Yasmina from United Arab Emirates on 2015-04-20 05:38:57
Lol!!! I showed this to all my friends and they relate.
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Comment by Laila from United States on 2015-04-16 01:59:18
So true??
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Comment by noor from United States on 2015-01-07 12:33:11
Oh my god. Nearly all of them applies. Especially the open the light. If I ask my room mate to open the light, he wouldn't do it unless I say turn on the light. He's such a tease lol. The um kalthoom one is true too. Iddon't listen to her but my dad will spend hours making me listen to her and translate her songs for me so I can appreciate it lmao.
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Comment by widaad from Indonesia on 2015-01-07 03:59:35
hhhhhh yemeni here, and all of em are true xD too funny, my non-arab friends ask me to write their names in arabic :D also we drive cars above 150km/h ;D
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Comment by <input > from Jordan on 2014-12-30 01:35:20
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Comment by Eman Ewais from United States on 2014-12-09 15:40:47
OMG!!! This is sooo ture :D
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Comment by nawai from Saudi Arabia on 2014-11-21 01:30:52
hhhhh true and funy
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Comment by Zainab Abu-Zaid from United States on 2014-11-03 08:04:54
I am a PROUD ARAB!! These points are so true!! I could relate to these... obviously cause im an Arab <3
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Comment by Gee from Saudi Arabia on 2014-11-03 00:58:25
hahaha TRUE !
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Comment by Amar Fadhil from Europe on 2014-10-04 13:30:43
Hahaha 100% true :D its like am reading my own biography! Proud arab
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Comment by Antoinette from Australia from Australia on 2014-09-30 18:37:11
SOOO funny lol i wish more people would have a good sense of humour unlike the first comment written from someone who read into these jokes wrongly :)))))
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Comment by تع خش في طيزي from Palestine on 2014-08-21 15:43:11
تلحسو طيزي
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Comment by Nida from United States on 2014-07-21 23:50:11
Hahahahaha this is literally the story of my life soooo funny!!
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Comment by dyana from United States on 2014-06-09 21:44:49
You know youre arab when you always have lib in your house
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Comment by Abrar from Kuwait on 2014-05-29 12:35:34
Laish خرة.net lol
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Comment by Salima from United Kingdom on 2014-04-24 12:58:00
So true and funny... Though some of it is sad
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Comment by Laila from United States on 2014-04-20 20:54:30
It's all true especially the part about cussing in Arabic. I say "kharia" at least twice a day. And the part about fighting for the bill my cousins and I actually started to tackle each other in a restaurant booth. Soooo funny.
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Comment by Amelia from United Kingdom on 2014-03-23 07:34:00
People stop getting angry its a JOKE! Hahaha unfortunately these are all true LMAO IT'S LIKE READING MY FAMILIES BIOGRAPHY OR SMTH Good job:D hahah
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Comment by nina from United States on 2014-03-22 06:11:16
Sooo funny...I always get down from the car and open the lights haha! Awesome being araby! One you forgot is we try to force feed anyone that steps into the house...super hospitable!
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Comment by ahlam from United Kingdom on 2014-03-03 01:31:05
oh my God!! 100 percent true!!am an arab and am laughing my head off!!
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